Monday, November 10, 2008

Highs and Lows

These two weeks have been exhausting! God has flooded our lives with high moments and lows, taking my husband and I on a very unexpected ride. We are seeking other employment situations which brings the anxiety of not having a paycheck juxtaposed by the excitement of knowing that God has another plan for our lives. We are eager to follow Him and see what is in store for our mission together as a couple. But the lows have been overwhelming. Leaving a church and a job in trust that there is somethingbetter can be unnerving, at the least, expecially when truth of the whole situation has become ambiguous.

Prospective bosses call; then they don't. Then they return an email with a vague answer. So what's going on? How far will our trust be tested on this one?

Then Papa dies. Not entirely unexpected. Maybe even a blessing of being released to leave my husband's home town. But still a low. A low that brings on family expectations of how we should handle this, what we should do, and what events we need to attend or not.

Our kitchen floor, currently a bed of cardboard, was going to be fixed. It was a promise made again and again. After three broken promises, a member of our congregation hands my husband a check and an offer to come help put down the tile. Done. Just like that.

Does God let the lows happen, so we can appreciate the highs? Or are the highs inserted as a mere promise that the lows aren't being endured in vain? Are we let down so we can be picked up? Or are we picked up so we can better prepare for the next fall? If we look at Scripture to answer this quesion, I would suppose it to be the latter. Scripture paints suffering as a blessings. Blessings are blessings, too, but they do not seem to provide the wisdom and peace that arise out of a tragedy.

I'm not saying my life is full of tragedy, just pondering the idea of highs and lows. I suppose I'd be bored with the middle anyway.